The weekend that was

So I had a good weekend. I'm sorry if you didn't. However, there was a downside.

And that was the feeling I've gotten before that I haven't lived enough. I'm 22, so there is definitely plenty of time, but when you go to a tourist town like Taupo you meet so many people from all over the world who have awesome stories.

The amount of fun they have is truly amazing. They don't live for tomorrow or for yesterday, they live for the now.

To me it seems a little like really not having any responsibility. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Just that it's an experience they won't ever have again so make the most of it and don't regret the things they do. They really make you who you are.

In a strange parallel then, I also had one of those moments where all I wanted to do was find someone nice to settle down with, to do the supermarket shopping with and come home to after a night out.

But I want to do the travel by myself. I tend to rely on people and people seem to like doing things for me and don't stop them. So I want to get out there and test myself. I also want to be able to do exactly what I want, when I want. I want to jump on a plane with almost no notice and see what happens or manage to negotiate airport after airport only using my skills and sense of direction (or lack there of!).

But being here in NZ with people settling down all around me makes it hard to keep being positive. Being alone is not easy, in fact sometimes it is really lame. But I guess I just need to keep thinking about where I want to be in five years. I had this conversation with a lovely friend of mine on the weekend. I just want to be happy. Ultimately that is all I want. Sure success and excitement and good times are also on the list. But being happy is so important. And I think (I hope) that in five years I'll have that... but I really think that will only come after I travel and become one of these backpackers I envy so much.

Plus, a backpacker friend of mine has stalked Bono. I really want to do that.

C