The weekend that was

So I had a good weekend. I'm sorry if you didn't. However, there was a downside.

And that was the feeling I've gotten before that I haven't lived enough. I'm 22, so there is definitely plenty of time, but when you go to a tourist town like Taupo you meet so many people from all over the world who have awesome stories.

The amount of fun they have is truly amazing. They don't live for tomorrow or for yesterday, they live for the now.

To me it seems a little like really not having any responsibility. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Just that it's an experience they won't ever have again so make the most of it and don't regret the things they do. They really make you who you are.

In a strange parallel then, I also had one of those moments where all I wanted to do was find someone nice to settle down with, to do the supermarket shopping with and come home to after a night out.

But I want to do the travel by myself. I tend to rely on people and people seem to like doing things for me and don't stop them. So I want to get out there and test myself. I also want to be able to do exactly what I want, when I want. I want to jump on a plane with almost no notice and see what happens or manage to negotiate airport after airport only using my skills and sense of direction (or lack there of!).

But being here in NZ with people settling down all around me makes it hard to keep being positive. Being alone is not easy, in fact sometimes it is really lame. But I guess I just need to keep thinking about where I want to be in five years. I had this conversation with a lovely friend of mine on the weekend. I just want to be happy. Ultimately that is all I want. Sure success and excitement and good times are also on the list. But being happy is so important. And I think (I hope) that in five years I'll have that... but I really think that will only come after I travel and become one of these backpackers I envy so much.

Plus, a backpacker friend of mine has stalked Bono. I really want to do that.

C

Blogging... I have to start somewhere

I'm not entirely sure starting a blog on a Friday night in the middle of winter is the best plan.

I've always been under the impression that starting a blog should be monumental... you've gotten a new career, you've graduated from uni, moved across the country or are moving away from your country, that sort of thing.

Yet here I am.

Today I've done nothing monumental. But maybe that's the point of this. I'm not going to be writing blogs that will change the world, they might not even change my world in any way. But I'm doing something I always said I would. Which to me is becoming very important.

At the ripe-old age of 22, I'm beginning to realise that moments do define you and choices you make will affect the rest of your life. Now I don't mean deciding which dress to buy on ASOS, not to say that that hasn't been a quandry for me many a time, but I mean real choices. What job shall I take? Where do I want to live? What do I want to do with my life? Who do I want to live that life with?

And that is scary. Up until now I have just done what I was supposed to do. Go to school, done that, go to uni, done that, graduate, done that, get a job, done that, get another job, done that.

What happens after that though? If I keep going down this path I'm scared I'll reach my 30s and be none-the-wiser, and unhappy. And I don't want that.

So starting this blog is a step in the direction I want to go in. If I say I want to do something, I should do it. Life is far too short. And I'm too much of a dreamer to let it pass me by without living the life I've always wanted.

So this blog is the start of that. Following through, doing what I say I will and hopefully, making myself really happy in the process.